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Wednesday, February 01, 2012

Do we really get happier when something big happens?



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I came flying into the house with a low grade fever to have my 10 year old put his ipod touch in my face and ask for the password (I have to approve his purchases) and my 6'1" model sized daughter exclaim that she had to be at the school by 4:30 or the bus would leave her. My 17 year old 6' 5" bellowed in his deep bass that it was his birthday and did I have time to go to the courthouse to pay his tags because he'd forgotten.

All of this at once. But time stopped.

I saw it. A large box. On the kitchen table. I took the keys in my hand that had opened the kitchen door just seconds before and with a quick flick opened the box and it got quiet.

"Here's Mama's book, guys."
"Congratulations, Mom," said my 10 year old. "Will you type in the password for me now?"

And bedlam started up again.

And I thought to myself. Is this is what it's like? When your life changes and you have a dream that you've had since you were 12 finally happen - the world just keeps going. The kids keep yelling. Nothing really changes and yet you know that something has changed. That this moment is a defining moment in your life and yet life doesn't seem to really change. You're the same you and you keep going.

I think it again reinforces that being happy wherever you are is important. I have to be happy with or without a book or with or without a blog because having something new isn't going to make me any happier.

Funny thing, I read that people who are happy people are also happy even after a trauma happens. Kind of like our body has a set point for weight, I think we sort of have a happiness set point.  Just as we can change our body's set point for weight, I think we can also effect our set point for happiness.

The point is, I wasn't going crazy with my kids inundating me. I kind of enjoy that they are all there around me, even if it is crazy. And opening the book didn't have any effect on me and how I handled things.

So, as happy as I am about the book coming out and the kind notes and reviews you're sending in, I'm just as happy as I was before.

Perhaps it is time to learn to be content with what we have. To work to be better but to know that when we have a great breakthrough not to expect that to be the magic pill to our utopian happiness. There is no such thing.
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