Teaching Kids Boundaries: What to Say in the Moment — Episode 970
Boundaries are not a heavy conversation you need a degree to have. They are small, repeated moments — and the right words handed to a child before they need them. Ashley Bendiksen, author of A Kids Book About Boundaries, shows teachers what to say.
Ashley Bendiksen is a national speaker and abuse prevention advocate who spent years talking to teens about dating violence. Then she moved earlier. Her book for children ages five to nine teaches the skill underneath all of it: knowing you have a choice, and having the words to say so. In this conversation she shows what that looks like in an elementary classroom — the two-option choice, the "I don't like that" script, the pause to ask "did we ask first?" — none of which requires adding anything to your lesson plan.
We also talk about your boundaries, because teaching is high-burnout work and we are modeling something for kids either way.
In this episode, you'll learn:
- Why boundaries are emotional and social, not just physical
- The micro-moments that teach boundaries without a new lesson
- A role-play activity you can run this week
- What to say to the student who always decides what everyone plays
- Why "let's all just get along" can send the wrong message
- One small boundary to set for yourself this week
Show notes and full transcript: https://www.coolcatteacher.com/e970
Show Sponsor: Ellis, a program of Children's Health Council, sponsored this podcast episode. All opinions are my own and that of the guest. Ellis pulls from a knowledge base on content from trusted partners like CAST, CASEL, Understood and others, and gives you evidence-aligned ideas for students who are struggling with learning, behavior, or the emotional side of school (but not clinical advice). If you've got a student (or two) who you can't stop thinking about, try it and see what it brings you. No personally identifiable student information is collected, and it is a much better place to start than "brainstorming" with your general-purpose AI chat tool. Try Ellis today: https://www.coolcatteacher.com/ellis
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